Funny words and phrases with funny minion quotes of the week. Everyone loves minions and these hilarious minion quotes will put a smile on your face!
1. “Blonde’s walk to heaven A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all die. In order to get into heaven though, they must go up 100 steps, each containing a joke. The trick is that they must not laugh. The brunette goes first and laughs at the first step and is sent to hell. The redhead goes next and makes it to the seventh step before she laughs. Finally, it’s the blondes turn. She gets all the way to the 99th step before she”
2. “I’m that type of person that tries to fall back asleep in the morning just to finish a dream.”
3. “I behave? Seriously? As a child u saw Tarzan almost naked, Cinderella arrived home after midnight, Pinocchio told lies, Aladdin was a thief, batman drove over 200 miles an hour, snow-white lived in a house with 7 men, Popeye smoked a pipe and had tattoos, Pac man ran around to digital music while eating pills that enhanced his performance, and shaggy and Scooby was mystery-solving hippies that always had the munchies. The fault is not mine! If you had this childhood and loved it, repost I thought this would bring a smile to your face lol it did mine!!!”
4. “Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence. Eat bacon.”
5. “Never blame anyone in your life. Good people give you happiness. Bad people give you experience. The worst people give you a lesson. And best people give you memories.”
6. “If you are hotter than me… … does that make me cooler than you?”
7. “10 things I know about you: 1) You are reading this 2) You are human 3) You can’t say the letter “P” without separating your lips 4) You just tried to do it 6) You are laughing at yourself 7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5 8) You just checked to see if there is a number 5 9) You laugh at this because you are an idiot (but everyone else does it too, if that makes you feel any better) 10) You are going to repin this to see who else falls for it”
8. “Sweet as sugar, hard as ice. Hurt me once, I’ll kill you twice.”
9. “When someone asks me why I’m still single… I guess I’m overqualified!”
10. “I hate it when people are at your house and ask ‘Do you have a bathroom?’ No, we pee in the yard.”
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11. “Best friends they know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.”
12. “I have 5 fingers for a reason: My pinky finger. For my best friend, and the promises I will never break. My ring finger. For that special boy, when the time is right. My middle finger. For that b*tches who pushes me to far… My pointer finger. To pick out my dearest family members. My thumb: to show the rest of the world I’m going to be okay.”
13. “I don’t care if you’re black, white, short, tall, skinny, rich or poor. If you respect me I’ll respect you.”
14. “It’s funny how you’re nice to my face. It’s hilarious how you talk shit behind my back. And it’s downright comical that you think I’m unaware.”
15. “Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else!”
16. “Why do we need school? Music: We have YouTube for that Sport: There’s a wii Spanish: There’s dora English: Everything’s shortened anyway. (LOL, BRB, IDK) Math: That’s why we have calculators Geography: I’ll buy a globe. History: They’re all dead anyway”
17. “My mother always told me if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all… And some people wonder why I’m so quiet around them!”
18. “Instead of cleaning house I just watch an episode of hoarders and think wow my house looks great!!”
19. “If I actually spoke my mind, I’d be in deep shit!”
20. “For men who think a womans place is in the kitchen. Just remember, that’s where the knives are kept”
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21. “There are moments in life when you wish you could bring someone down from heaven. To spend the day with them just one more time, give them one more hug, kiss them goodbye or hear their voice again. One more chance to say I love you! Share this in remembrance of someone who is not here”
22. “I hate two-faced people. It makes it harder for me to decide which side to slap first.”
23. “I am who I am. I’m weird, I run into things, I spill food, I trip, I laugh about random and stupid stuff. But I like it that way.”
24. “I look back on my life and I’m extremely impressed that I’m still alive”
25. “That moment when you are having a conversation in your head and you realize you are making faces that go along with the silent conversation.”
26. “I’m the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened days ago…”
27. “When someone you love dies… you never get over it. You just slowly get through each day. But you always keep them tucked safely in your heart.”
28. “I hate that moment when you’re tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed, your body is like just kidding..”
29. “Suddenly remember everything”
30. “Raise your hand if you have a bad habit of laughing at serious moments.”
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31. “I’m not a complete idiot… some parts are missing.”
32. “It doesn’t matter what you think of me, because my imaginary friends think I’m special.”
33. “Sorry, I can’t today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died. And yes, it was tragic.”
34. “Think of a number between 0 and 20. Add 32 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 1. Now close your eyes. Its dark isn’t it”
35. “It’s ok to talk to yourself, it’s even ok to answer yourself… But when you ask yourself to repeat what you just said, you have a problem!”
Fun Minion Quotes Of The Week – Funny memes & Funny images
