Top 55 Funny despicable me Minions Quotes. Everyone loves minions and these hilarious minion quotes will put a smile on your face! These despicable me minion quotes are perfect for Facebook or to share “Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority” and see how that feels. What we think, we become.
Best Inspirational and Motivational quotes about life sayings ” Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams. Be a fruit loop in a world of cheerios.
Very Funny Minions Quotes
Pappadom?
Bee-do! Bee-do!
Kanpai
The minions are stupid and savage, but they have one thing that makes them semi-useful: there’s a whole fucking lot of them.
Everyone would be so happy.
Ngaaahaaa! Patalaki patalaku Big Boss!!
No!no! Stay away from there. It’s fragile.
Nope, it wasn’t easy for these guys. But they never gave up.
Oh! Hello, papaguena! Tu le bella comme le papaya.
Fire! And one, two, three.
Science is most definitely not a priesthood where people stand on a mountain and pass truths down to the waiting minions below.
Unless they’re dead.
Well, you’re gonna have to get through me!
I sit down on the toilet… wait what?
No, no, no. Me do it. Me do it. Speta. Che le blumock.
Thank you and what?
Someday, i’m going to go to the moon.
He wasn’t this good at being evil overnight.
Funny quotes with minions
1. “Not only does my mind wander… Sometimes it disappears completely!”

2. “It costs $0.00 to be a decent person.”

3. “If a woman says, “Do what you want,” do not do what you want. Stand still, don’t blink, don’t answer, don’t even breathe. Just play dead.”

4. “To all those who have gossiped and b! tched about me, thank you so much for making me the center of your little world!”

5. “Skinny people are easier to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake.”

6. “Yes, we did wear some crazy clothes in the 8o’s. But at least our asses weren’t hanging out.”

7. “I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on a Tuesday, 40% on a Wednesday, 20% on a Thursday and only 5% on a Friday! Welcome back weekend!”

8. “When I was young I just wanted to be older. What the hell was I thinking!”

9. “They say swearing is due to limited vocabulary. I know thousands of words but I still prefer “Fuck off” to “Go away”.”

10. “Three horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday 2. Tomorrow is not Friday 3. Even the day after tomorrow is not Friday.”

11. “Home: Where you can say anything you want, because no one is listening to you anyway.”

12. “I would lose weight but I hate losing…”

13. “If I can make at least one person smile or pee their pants a little, my day was not wasted.”

14. “You don’t actually love a person unless you occasionally want to kill them.”

Top Funny Minions Quotes
15. “Hi spider, nice spider, let me pet you… With my foot! Good spider,.. Dead spider.”

16. “A women’s place is in the kitchen… Sitting with her feet up, sipping a cocktail and watching her husband cook dinner.”

17. “Don’t make excuses for nasty people. You can’t put a flower in an asshole and call it a vase!”

18. “An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough!”

19. “I’m that type of person that tries to fall back asleep in the morning just to finisha dream.”

20. “Carrots may be good for your eyes… But booze will double your vision!”

21. “Happiness is… Having friends who are idiots.”

22. “You see a person’s true colors when you are no longer beneficial to their life.”

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23. “Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you they get upset! Who knew?”

24. “You know you’re getting old, when you feel bad in the morning without having had any fun the night before!”

25. “Four hours sleep at age 21 “I’m ready to party again!” Four hours sleep at age 40 “Say one thing to me and I’ll smack you in the face.”

26. “Take a deep breath. It’s just a bad day. Not a bad life.”

27. “Revenge? Nah, Im too lazy. Im gonna sit here and let karma screw you.”

28. “I was born to make mistakes…. Not to fake perfection.”

29. “You’re so full of shit, the toilet’s jealous.”

30. “Oh my goodness!! Can you imagine if there were two of me?”

31. “She’s my bestfriend. Of course I’m going to tell her everything you just said.”

32. “How to talk to me when I’m in a bad mood. Don’t…”

33. “Work, really? Again? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?”

34. “Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being stupid.”

35. “Dear best friend you are salt of my coffee fork of my soup jam to my pizza the point is you are useless.”

36. “You’re not a failure until you stop trying. If you have no other testimony you have this one: “I’m still here.””

37. “Most people’s voice in their head says ‘Don’t say it’ mine says ‘say it, sit back and watch it will be fun’”

38. “Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.”

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39. “Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “It’s not a priority” and see how that feels.”

40. “I remember years ago when all I wanted to be was older I was wrong!!!”

Funny Minions quotes and sayings “I have reached the point in my life when I’m not out to impress anyone. Take me as I am or it’s your freakin loss”