42 Best Funny Jokes Minions Quotes With Images

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Here are Very funny Minion Quotes and Funny images! We hope you will love them, make See more ideas about Funny, Minions funny, Funny minion quotes.

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1. “Human logic: Cut the trees, made paper with them and write “Save the trees””

2. “3 stupid stages of life! Teenage: Have time + Energy …but no money Working age: Have money + Energy …but no time Old age: Have time + Money …but no energy”

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3. “Today I feel like putting an “Out of order” sticker on my head and going back to bed!”

4. “I didn’t fart, my ass likes you so much it just blew you a kiss!”

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5. “I live on the corner of funny street and silly road, in crazy town which is in psycho valley, in a twisted state of mind”

6. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to “Push all your buttons” I was just looking for mute!”

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7. “My cooking is so fabulous… Even the smoke alarm cheers me on!”

8. “My doctor asked me if I had ever had a stress test? Yes – I replied it’s called life”

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9. “I was told to check my attitude… I did… it’s still there… it’s not gone anywhere, what’s the problem?”

10. “Have you ever just looked at someone and automatically felt annoyed?”

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11. “Just in case no one told you today: Good morning you are beautiful I love you I miss you”

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12. “2 mysterious people live in my house. Somebody & nobody. Somebody did it and nobody knows who.”

13. “People push you to your limits, but when you finally explode and fight back, you are the mean one!”

14. “Maybe money can’t buy happiness, but I think it’s only fair to give me some and let me learn that lesson myself.”

15. “I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude and that’s not my problem.”

16. “Don’t give me your attitude unless you want mine!!”

17. “Sometimes, I forget how to spell a word so I change the whole sentence to avoid using it.”

18. “That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like, “I’ve got nothing man,””

19. “Singing to a song you don’t really know… But that 15 second part you do know is coming and you’re gonna own it.”

20. “If there was an award for laziness, I would probably send someone to pick it up for me.”

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21. “The biggest lie I tell myself is: “I don’t need to write it down, I’ll remember it””

22. “Attention! I am out of order until further notice. My “Stupid people” filter needs cleaning and my “Give a damn” batteries have run out.”

23. “I’m not crazy I’m just special! …no, wait….. maybe I am crazy? One second….. I have to talk to myself about this, hold on….”

24. “Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don’t you worry I’ll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you!”

25. “Dear haters, I couldn’t help but notice that ‘Awesome’ ends with ‘Me’ and ‘Ugly’ starts with ‘U’”

26. “That annoying moment when you are texting someone and auto correct decides to join the conversation.”

27. “I don’t mind coming to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is just bullshit.”

28. “Does anybody else have a voice in their head that repeats, “Slap the idiot, slap the idiot!” No? Just me? Hmm… Odd.”

29. “That dumb moment when you walk into a room and you don’t remember why…”

30. “Shhhh… I’m hiding from stupid people”

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31. “I officially resign from adult hood. Decisions will be made using the eenie-meenie minie-moe method and arguments will be settled by sticking out my tongue. I’ll be at recess if you need me.”

32. “Sometimes I look at my friends and think to myself, “Where did I meet these crazy people?” But then I think “What would I do without them?””

33. “Technically if you don’t cut a cake and just eat the whole thing with a fork you still only had one piece.”

34. “A cop pulled me over and said “Papers…” I said “Scissors, I win!” and drove off.”

35. “Instead of calling it the john, I’m going to start calling my bathroom the “Jim” that way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.”

36. “If someone calls you “Ugly” have a good comeback and say “Excuse me, I am not a mirror”.”

37. “I fart because it is the only gas I can afford!!”

38. “Ignorance can be educated and crazy can be medicated but there’s no cure for stupid”

39. “Laughing is the best medicine. But if you’re laughing for no reason, you may need medicine.”

40. “That mini heart attack when you miss a step on the stairs.”

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41. “I am a leader. Not a follower. Unless it’s a dark place, then fuck that shit. You’re going first.”

42. “My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home.”

43. “Never let your friends feel lonely! Disturb them at all times!”

44. “Don’t fear me when I’m angry and screaming, fear me when I’m angry and quiet because I’m plotting my revenge.”

45. “If you haven’t grown up by the age of 50 you don’t have to!”

46. “I don’t trip. I do random gravity check.”

47. “Today I feel like putting an “Out of order” sticker on my head and going back to bed!”

48. “A raindrop landing on your cheek is a kiss from someone that lives in heaven and is watching over you…”

49. “The only exercise some people get is running their mouth, jumping to conclusions & pushing their luck!”

50. “Heat makes things expand… so I don’t have a weight problem. I’m just hot!”

51. “Sometimes the thoughts in my head get so bored they go out for a stroll through my mouth. It rarely ends well.”

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